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I can't decide if this guys is creepy for funny....read the message below and weigh in!


"...how is your week shaping up? Somehow I'd like to land an evening with you!"

"...ahahahaha....when are you free? I couldn't resist! My schedule has been hectic lately, but I'd love to play hookie and catch up with you!"

Thoughts?

The hard questions.

And so the process begins... though, I must admit, you girls are intimidating, but then again, y'all have had a month head start (more if you're KT).

Tonight, I became a "Serious Member" on Plentyoffish.com (POF). So far as I can tell, the only benefit of being a "Serious Member" is that other members now know I'm serious. Wow. Great. $30 later, I'm a "Serious Member" for 3 months. Niiiice. So then, I work to perfect my profile. I'd left it sort of skeletal until just a few moments ago. Deciding exactly how to portray yourself to prospective suitors is perplexing. POF offers basically zero helpful matching tools. The whole site is basically a free for all of fish in a low tech ocean. I'm just trying to swim above all the bottom feeders. Seriously.

So, this is what I came up with; About Me: About Me

In August, I completed my second bachelors degree and am beginning my career. After five years of dedicated study, I am ready to dedicate myself to the career I have laid out in front of me. I love the work I do, and will speak of it freely when the opportunity is right; however, I prefer not to use it as a ploy to be asked on interview-style dates (the idea of such things is my greatest pet peeve).

In particular, I am new to the area and have few social connections. There's a lot to learn about this area and I look forward to the chance to explore with someone new.

I practice writing as an art in order to create an archive of the lives we live. Know that an email from me is likely to be lengthy. I am interested in many type of social experiments and informal anthropology.

I love the juxtaposition between technology & modernity // tradition & antiquity.

I find it endlessly interesting that if I were to say "I like Radiohead," most members of my generation will immediately and ultimately categorize my taste in music in a very particular (but mostly over-generalized) genre. I like Radiohead.

Through this process, I'd like to meet new people. I am not "into" a particular "type" of guy as I am unlikely to fit into a particular "type" myself. Intelligence and intrigue are significant factors.

First Date

Deep and meaningful conversation in an atmosphere that both facilitates and creates such opportunities. Long walks to no where, meeting for coffee/tea, art museums, etc.

----

And the toughest decision of all? The little line next to my height (I rounded up to 5'10" to ward off undesirable short guys) which reads "Profession"..... thus far the most daunting self-revealing item. For this, I write: "Director; Restorative/Preservative Art." Very honest, I think.

Tonight I learned:

From L.Lo: The best way to relax before a first blind date _______.

From KT: This is a contest... news to me! Yikes. I thought I was just here to encourage my writing and meet my future ex-husband. Shit.

Double Trouble

Date 4: Teacher part 2

So I went on another date with the teacher. We met up for dinner at a restaurant by school since I would coming directly from class (That's right, I had to be super cool and show up with my back pack!!!) Anyway, the second date was definitely less awkward than the first. Though our waiter wasn't helping anything by hitting on me the whole night. He was always coming up an talking to me, not even acknowledging that there was another person at my table. He brought be a free beer because he "thought I'd like it and wanted me to try it" but didn't bring one for the teacher. I found it amusing but the teacher looked a little annoyed.The night ended with a hug, I think he might have wanted more, which got me thinking...
How many dates should you give it to see if there is actually something there? I mean, the teacher and I have been on two dates now, decent dates, but still no real spark. As a wise person once told me "if you can't picture his *BLEEP* in your mouth, the relationship isn't gonna go anywhere." While I maybe would've put it more delicately, that's kind of where I am on this one. He has asked me to go out again. Do I give it another date and see if something changes? How many dates can you go on with someone you don't see anything really happening with before it's just mean? Though let's be real, the mere participation in our little competition suggests that all of our moral compasses are a little off (some more than others...cough). Maybe I wont worry about it.

Until next time,
xoxo

I Have Outdone Myself This Time...

Oh my goodness, last night was quite the night. I had my first date. Kind of my first dates. Technicalities...First of all, I was very calm and relaxed for date. I would say that was a plus. I am not positive that I didn't hurt someone's feelings...but hey. That is the arrangement you wanted. I bet he didn't think it would be me having all the fun. Details will be divulged in private for those who request them.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Girls is pimps, too.

Anyways, my date. We shall call him "The Pilot." Because he is a pilot. Good thinking, eh? He is young...21 I think. But...he has a hella good job, a house, and a BMW. And big muscles! So I show up, after pushing my date back half an hour for personal reasons, and he looks much better than in his pictures. In the future, pilots look dorky in their uniforms. But anyways, things were cool. We had a few drinks and watched the Wings lose to the Wild (boo). And by we, I mean me. He doesn't love hockey like we love hockey. I am confident that he could learn, though. So the night went pretty well. No weird silences or anything, but there was minimal flirting since we were sitting across from each other. It makes it hard to be leg touching, etc. Just FYI. Drinks are maybe better sitting at the bar. More opportunity for physical contact. Just sayin'--don't wanna get in that friend zone. So we're getting ready to go and this Playmate blonde lady comes up to me and is all in my face. "I just had to tell you. YOU ARE SOOOO BEAUTIFUL. You are gorgeous! God, you are just so pretty. Is that your man? Is he your man? He is? Oh damn..." A lesbian came up and hit on me on our date. HOW DOES SOMETHING WEIRD LIKE THAT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME? That would not happen to anyone else. Haha. So he walked me to my car, I gave him a hug and left. Not bad, not bad.

Then, like 5 minutes after I leave I get a text saying how he had a good time and wants to see me again. I said I would like that and thanks again for the drinks. He texted me again today just to say hi and see how my day is going. I guess it's not just lesbians who like me!

Operation: EGGS IN BASKET. I'm liking it. No more nice girl. I'm done being the one who gets screwed over. ZERO expectations. Time to have fun. Fuck it. If something happens, great. But until then, party time. I'm not a slut, I just kiss a lot. That is my other new motto. Words to live by, ladies. Words to live by.

19 Jan 2010 (retro-post)

So here I am, already browsing, browsing, browsing, the fish in the sea. Did I mention that I set this account up before I feel asleep/as I was passing out? I did it on my phone therefore, my initial profile was total crap--no description nor photos. Come on, I did it on my iPhone.

To quote, my profile originally read, About Me: "I'm not ready to do this.I'm not ready to do this. I'm not ready to do this.I'm not ready to do this.I'm not ready to do this.I'm not ready to do this. I'm doing this from my iPhone and it's not fun."

Brilliant, right? Not to mention, my apprehension in taking up this project.

Pure impulse, sounds like so much of my unplanned life and my past pseudo-relationships if you really must know--seemed like a good idea at the time. Anyhow, I'm realizing that if I really want to give this a try, I've got to actually put some attention into the process. As L.Lo reflected--the process has a lot to do with self-reflection and analyzing what it is that I actually want--like academic work, like working out, like grief work--all these processes demand a great deal of the focused self. I reckon I ought to put some good effort in if I am to take it, and to be taken, seriously.

29 Jan 2010

More profile progress: Handful of photos (what I really need is to do a glamor shot photo shoot, L.Lo, you got some mascara and a camera?!), list of interests, vagueness about my career and degrees, but I still included that cover-all co-out: "I originally began drafting this on my iPhone before I realized that I need to put some major effort into it if I expect to get anything out of it. More to come..."

And there it is, for now. Until then, I dream of furthering this social experiment and possibly some interesting experiences. Something to write about, at least, right? Eggs, baskets, blogs.

Quote of the Day

Girl 1: "I would never online date, I need a good 'how we met story'. But if this guy doesn't work out for you give him my number."
Girl 2: "So it's ok for you to find guys through me online dating?"
Girl 1: "Yes, that is a much better story!"

Easy as 1, 2, 3...

So I figured out why I don't date...it's like a full time job. Between the searching, matching, "winking", e-mails, plus the rest of my life, it is hard to fit the actual dates in. With that said, I have "successfully" completed three dates this past week (yes, successfully is in quotes for a reason).

Date 1: Mr. Good

My first date was with a teacher, nice guy, good guy, almost too good. I'm trying to convince myself that that isn't a bad trait. We'll see how that goes. It's weird "nice guy" has always been on my list, but it's looking like I need him to have a bit of an edge too! Anyway, we agreed to meet up for coffee at the place of his choosing (unlike some people I'm not trying to have 4 hour first dates...creepy). I was impressed by his choice of location, a little neighborhood coffee shop which also happened to serve wine and beer! On a total side note, these kind of places are popping up all over the city and I LOVE them. He earned points for choice of date location. We both ordered hot chocolate (I wasn't about to order alcohol if he wasn't) and sat and talked for awhile, nothing too exciting. Given that it was my first date in a LONG time I wasn't sure if the semi-frequent awkward pauses were normal or not (subsequent dates have proven that they are in fact NOT the norm). We'd be talking and all of the sudden there would be a pause and he would stare at me dreamily. Kind of flattering I guess, but also kind of creepy. After the PG beverages we both ordered a beer (score!) and continued with conversation. The last hour of our date consisted of telling drinking stories. But wait! Before you get too excited about how much fun that sounds, let's just say I had to severely sensor my stories because his were all so tame and I didn't want to scare him. So if anyone asks...the crasiest thing I've ever done drunk is "watch" my "roommate" bring home a traffic cone (that crazy roommate). The end of the date was a little weird as I rushed out to catch my bus (that is what we city people use for transportation). All in all though, it was an o.k. date, nothing amazing but not bad. I would say date one falls on the success side of the spectrum. We have dinner plans tomorrow so stay tuned.

Date 2: Andre the Giant

So I am roughly 5'3" (5'4" on a tall day) and my second date was 6'8"! I sometimes wonder what the world looks like from up there. I was actually most excited about this date out of the three I've been on thus far. Partially because I am just so intrigued by his height and partially because I really enjoyed our e-mail conversation and partially because he has really good credentials (does that make me shallow?) We seem to have a lot in common and he's a bit of a smart ass like me (always a plus). It took us like 3 weeks to actually meet up because his work schedule is so crazy but we finally were able to meet up for drinks at one of my favorite bars (granted I did the picking). When I met him at the bar I realized just how tall 6'8" is...REALLY TALL! Luckily we sat down at a table so the height difference wasn't so noticeable. We had good conversation with no awkward pauses which made me realize just how awkward my conversation with Mr. Good had been. It was a short date, he had to work (catching a pattern) but it was fun. Again, date two is definitely on the success side of things. Though I was less than pleased when ended the date by putting the ball in my court! What? I have to make the next move? Uncool. Typically I wouldn't have done anything, but I decided for the sake of our social experiment (and me winning) I would man up. We now have plans this weekend.

Date 3: Douche

I was getting disappointed that my dates were all very normal compared to some of the dates being posted on this site (well one in particular). But alas, date three came around. Now you might I am evil for titling this one "Douche" but after he told me Douche was a nickname for his Indian name, well I completely forgot what his real name was so I couldn't write that even if I wanted too. He will forever be known in my stories as Douche. We met up Monday night and a relatively fancy bar which was nice, I like being fancy sometimes. I was all set to order a beer but then he ordered a vodka tonic, and well my general rule is not to order a beer if the guy doesn't, so I ordered wine. Slight problem, I forgot that wine had a significantly higher alcohol content. So let me preface the rest of the story by saying I was a pretty tips for most of this date. It's probably a good thing I was too, let's just say the conversation was weird and he really liked to talk. Here are some highlights.

- His first question was "why are you on Match?" I left out the whole competition/joke part and just responded "me and some friends decided to try it out together so we're all on different sites seeing what happens." Not a total lie. He then replied with "you guys should start a blog!" I laughed. Though I did not tell him we have one.

- He then proceeded to tell me how he is a "breaker" meaning that he likes to go into banks and look around and plan out how he would rob them. He doesn't, but he likes to imagine. I have yet to come up with the appropriate reaction to this part of the conversation.

- The highlight of the night was when he explained to me how arranged marriages work in India and how since he is over 30 he doesn't really have any offers anymore. Way to sell yourself on a date...a first date at that. I didn't really want to ask, but I'm guessing this is why he is on Match.

- Finally he offered me a ride home which I appreciated (I had walked there and it was now really cold) so he asked where I lived. I told him the intersection and he said something which I didn't really understand because of his accent (note to self: become more culturally sensative) so I just agreed. Apparently he had been asking me if I lived in the Eitel Apartments...I do not. So I got dropped off in front of a building I don't live in (luckily it is close) and he now thinks I live there. I didn't bother to correct him. Failure is such  harsh word, so I will say date three was less than successful.