On The Fence

So since my last post i have been on 3 DATES WITH THE SAME GUY! this is pretty epic, seeing as the first 2 guys i went out with were duds. i'll break it down to make things easier ...

date 1: dinner. we went to dinner at an italian place near my house, he picked the location. it was a bit loud inside so rather than shout across the table, he sat next to me. conversation flowed really well, surprisingly. this guy was different from the others though, he was no nonsense with the emailing. we exchanged maybe 2 emails before he gave me his number and asked if i wanted to "meet up" (that always sounds sketchy to me). dinner lasted almost 2 hours and at no point did i want to run screaming from the restaurant. at the end of the night we parted ways without any physical contact, which was exactly what i preferred.

date 2: for our second date i went out his way and we went bowling and out to dinner. i wasn't on top of my game and lost, but it was a pretty good time! i was expecting just bowling then heading home, but he surprised me and invited me to get dinner. now, at this point he's spent a grand total of roughly $60 on taking me out, so when we went to dinner that night i offered to pay half. is it bad that i feel guilty having a guy take me out multiple times and pay for everything when i'm not totally into him? he looked a bit taken aback, but w/e. after dinner we hung out at his house (yep, he owns his own home! buttt has a roomie ... who is moving out at the end of this month). we watched tv in his basement for an hour or so. when it came time for me to leave it was a little awkward so i cut it short as quickly as possible and leaned in for a hug. he texted me on my way home saying he had a good time. WIN.

date 3: the tour. to keep our geographical location under wraps, i will abbreviate where we went as r.o.. so the plan was he was going to give me a tour of R.O. on foot. it was a really nice day so the plan sounded good to me. well, it ended up we just walked a few blocks from the parking structure to the restaurant. we got there around 7, which appeared to be peak happy hour time. the place was packed with businessmen in shirts and ties, top buttons undone, beers in hand. i have to admit i checked out a few of them, some of whom returned the looks. it was hard to have a conversation while eating because it was so loud, the non-talking seemed a little awkward to me but he just kept looking at me and smiling. after dinner we went back to his house and watched some basketball ... not my favorite sport to watch, but whatever. he drank a beer at dinner and was now yawning non stop and decided to lay down on the couch, his head a few inches from my lap, at one point. i was a little weirded out by this, not gonna lie. and now comes the time to part ways ... we were standing at his front door, doing that awkward dance, seeing if one of us would make a move and lean in for a lip lock. i let this go on for a few seconds before i went in for the hug. he pretty much wrapped me in a bear hug and i think he even smelled my hair ... awkward. after this, the entire drive home, i felt like a bad person, like i should have kissed him because it was the 3rd date. anyway, he has texted me since then but we haven't made any 4th date plans yet.

but really, as nice as this guy is, i'm on the fence about him. i don't get the butterflies when i think about him, when i see that he has texted me, or when i meet up with him to go out. maybe my expectations are too high?? i don't know ... i've always gotten butterflies with my past boyfriends and that's the feeling i'm looking for with this whole dating experiment.

ladies, i need advice/help. what should i do? keep going out with him until i decide how i'm feeling? ask him what he's looking for? don't go out with him again? ugh, so confusing.

The Candy Man

Date 12: The Candy Man

So I had been e-mail back and forth with the Candy Man for over a month but he wasn't asking me to meet up at all. I uncharacteristically asked him if he would want to meet up and he did and he sounded excited about it. Yay! We met for drinks at the bar by my apartment. Convenient but I didn't really think this one through entirely. It was a little awkward when we walked in and I got recognized by the bartender because I am a "regular." I love being a "regular" at a bar (you all know that) but I'm not sure it's the best first date introduction. We joked about it a little and I don't think it bothered the Candy Man. We talked for a couple of hours and we seemed to have a lot in common, it was very much enjoyable. I hope he thought so too because I'd like to go out with him again. I haven't heard anything from him, but it's only been a little over a day. Here's to hoping!

The Woman I'm Kind of Dating

No, I have not started playing for the other team, I still very much prefer the peen. It just so happens that coffee guy acts like more of a woman in relationships than I do, hence his new nickname...The Woman! Anyway, on to the story, also known as date numero 11 for me. So after the whole premature "will you be my girlfriend?" fiasco he came over to watch a movie. It was going fine until the movie ended and he said we needed to have "a talk about us." Seriously, on the 4th date? Basic gist of the conversation, he went on another date but thought of me the whole time and wants to be more serious, I told him I was really busy right now (not a lie) and it didn't seem like a good time for me to jump into anything. Is it bad to not like someone because they like you too much? It sounds weird but honestly I think I need someone way less intense right now.

Ummmm....

I don't know what to say..on so many levels. I don't know what to title this blog post. I don't know what to say about some of these guys (yes, Other Match Girl I have seen the same text phenomenon). But most importantly...I don't know what to say to the guy that just asked me to be his girlfriend!!!! Yeah, you read that right.

Here's the story: I knew coffee guy liked me a  lot. I guess that whole "He's Just Not That Into You" guy is right, when a guy really does like you, he lets you know it! But today he asked me to be his girlfriend and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I can't sort through my thoughts enough to write in eloquent prose so here it is:
1)  He asked me out via text message! Lame. We will be having words about that. But actually it kind of works out nice because I am able to figure out what I want to say before I reply.
2) We've only been on 3 dates (the 3rd of which was date 10 for me btw)!!! Am I crazy for thinking that is super soon? I mean I don't even know his last name!
3) I like him, I think. He's nice and sweet and I've had a lot of fun with him. But the whole girlfriend thing so soon (and via text) is kind of freaking me out. Do I really want that kind of guy? I'm not sure whether or not it should be a deal breaker though. Thoughts?
4) In past experiences if a relationship gets too serious too fast I freak out and end it. Sometimes I regret that later. Part of me wants to do that here. But at the same time maybe I should stop running away because I'm scared.
5) I feel like the fact that I don't know what I want to say isn't a good sign, right? I mean I feel like you should WANT to start a relationship with someone. You should be excited about it. Maybe that's just my romantic fantasies talking, but does the fact that I don't feel that way mean I should give up on it completely?
6) Plus, I don't know if I want to be exclusive just yet. I mean, I just started having some fun playing this whole "dating" game! There is still another guy I'm talking to from the site that I would like to meet. Plus, I've got my little secret neighbor crush that I want something to happen with. I don't think I know coffee guy well enough to know if I want to take myself out of the game for him just yet. Or maybe I'm just using that as an excuse not to deal with a relationship. Am I over thinking this?
7) I don't think I have time for a boyfriend, honestly. I barely have time for school and my 2 jobs (plus all the other crap I have managed to get myself signed up for). Even if I wanted to see him everyday I couldn't, there aren't enough hours in the day. I feel like starting a relationship now would be dumb because I would never be able to do anything anyway.

Given all the thoughts above, here's where I think I'm at. I'm definitely not ready to be his "girlfriend" but I don't think I want to completely discard him yet either. And because I can't wait forever to reply (I figure I have until I get off work today, I mean it's plausible that I didn't check my cell at work, right?), this is what I'm thinking of saying (I will be replying via text since the question was asked via text...its only fair. Hopefully the reply is 160 characters or less).

"Are you really asking me that question via text? :) I like you too and I would like to keep seeing you but I'm not sure I'm ready for that just yet. Especially with how busy my life is right now with school and everything."

Do you think that's fair? Based on all my mini rants above does that seem like I good move? Let me know your thoughts? I could use some outside eyes looking at this situation.

 ______

On a separate note, I have another meeting Wednesday night that secret neighbor crush will be at. How do I make him ask me on a date? I think I kind of really like this guy and in light of recent events would like to see if there is the possibility of anything there sooner rather than later.

I'm in LOVE

Ok so I admit, the title is misleading. But it got your attention, no? And it's not a total lie. For my 2nd date with coffee guy, I went over to his house to watch a movie. It was there that I fell head-over-heels in love with his dog!! Cutest thing ever (apart from my baby of course). They guy isn't too bad either, but it's too early to take an official stance on him just yet. Anyway, that was date number seven.

And now the story you've all been waiting for...my date with the fireman!!! I have two words to sum up this date...UTTER DISAPPOINTMENT. It was a Valentine's day date with a fireman, it should have been awesome! I blame the calendar creators for giving me unrealistic expectations when it comes to firemen. This guys wasn't bad looking, but he was no Mr. July!! And as good as he looks on paper (fireman, works at Children's hospital), well it didn't translate to personality. Too bad. Anyway, for those of you counting, that's eight. Are you all catching on as to how badly I want you to visit me? Hope so.

3 strikes and you're out!

So earlier tonight was date 3 with the teacher. I had been on the fence about him so I figured I would give it another shot. Let's just say I wont be needing a 4th date. It turns out 3 is the magic number of dates it takes to decide on someone. In actuality I really only needed 2 dates and the prospect of the 3rd to decide. I figured it was a bad sign when I wanted to cancel when he called me to get my address to come and pick me up. We had made plans to go to a movie yesterday but once it was actually time for it, I didn't want to go, I was kind of dreading it. And maybe it's because I have an unrealistic notion of "true love" (thanks Disney) but I like to think there's something more out there than dread. Call me crazy, but I want excitement!

Things didn't get much better when he picked me up in a pick-up truck. For those of you who don't know me very well...I HATE pick-up trucks. Unless you are hauling something very large, there is no need for you to have a truck! Unnecessary. Anyway, that little rant aside, the movie we went to was a Spanish film, his choice, though I did find it to be a good movie. We got there a little late and walked into the theater right in the middle of a crazy sex scene...a little awkward. As could be expected with foreign films, there was a lit of sex. The teacher looked very uncomfortable through the whole thing and would giggle like a little girl at the sex scenes. During one extra long sex scene he seemed extra awkward and grabbed his jacket and put it over his lap. I'm not trying to imply anything but those are the facts, read into them as you will. Other than that he would lean over to me through out the movie to ask me questions about what was happening or to explain parts of the movie in case I didn't get what was happening. A little annoying, a little insulting. My favorite part was when he leaned over to ask me what GHB was. Let's be real, I'm like the opposite of a druggie but I still know of GHB. Is it really possible to be 29 years old and not have even heard of GHB?

After the movie we went to grab a beer at a nearby bar/restaurant. It was a conversation filled with lots of "gosh" "geeze" and even a few "gollies" thrown in there. I felt a little like I was talking to my grandpa. I tried to tell a funny story from work but he didn't get it. I got retold a few of his stories from previous dates. And the awkward pauses with the dreamy looks were still there. I finished my beer quickly in hopes of leaving but he drank his slower than I have ever seen anyone drink a beer.

Eventually though we did leave and when we got out to the car he had a parking ticket (I told him I thought the meters we're still enforced). I felt kind of bad that he got a ticket, this date was turning out to be very expensive for him. I'm not sure what the protocol is on this, if your date gets a ticket are you obligated to a good night kiss? He definitely wanted a kiss but by the end of the date I wasn't really feeling it at all. He did the whole put-the-car-in-part-unbuckle-and-lean-in-thing, but I did the whole say-thanks-and-get-out-of-the-car thing. He wants for me to call him again...don't know that I will be though.

While the teacher isn't going to be my future, my dates with him did teach me some things. Like the fact that the 3 date rule is true. So if you're ever wondering about a guy, give it 3 dates and you'll know. Also, I learned that it's not enough just to be a good guy, I need more. I obviously I don't want an ass, but I need someone who's fun, someone who has a good drinking story, someone who I can joke around with and laugh with, someone that can go a little crazy. I feel like it's a total bitch thing to say, but too good can be a little dull and I like I said, I want excitement! Better luck next time.

You know you love me,
xoxo

P.S. For those of you counting I am now at 6! Start planning your trips to the land of 10,000 lakes (yes, I will hold you all to it).

Coffee and Conversation

I'm going to try and Kill multiple birds with one stone here in this post. We'll see how it goes.

First Bird: I agree with you Ms. Chemistry, the excitement and appeal of this experiment has dwindled a little. However, I have something that will put all the excitement back into it...I HAVE A DATE WITH A FIRE FIGHTER!!!! Well maybe that just puts the excitement back into it for me, but if you stick with it, you too could have a date with a fire fighter! I mean a part from finding Mr. Right, I think a fireman is like the second best motivation.

Second Bird: Ok, this is going to come off sounding bad, and I promise I am not turning into one of these girls, but...I just don't have time for all these guys!!! I mean my schedule is busy enough, not to mention trying to fit in dates with multiple people. It's hard enough to schedule first dates with new people, but then if someone wants a second date...well it's just hard. Sometimes I just want "me" time. Ok, I just needed to rant a little. I'm not done with my "too many boys like me" rant. Which by the way, is a rant I've never had the privilege of doing until now.

Third Bird: If nothing else comes from this whole experiment (well apart from me winning and you all coming to visit me), it has given me a whole new outlook on dating. Before doing this I was terrified of dating, I know crazy right! But seriously, if someone asked me out I would basically start hyperventilating. And then I would come up with a list of things wrong with them and convince myself it would never work just so I wouldn't have to try. I was still in the "secret crush" phase of life where you like a guy, but he can't know because he might not like you back ( come to think of it, that probably explains my dating dry spell). This was the mentality I started this whole thing with. The first time I got the dreaded "Thanks, but..." response I thought I was going to die. If I hadn't just shelled out the big bucks for the 3 month membership I probably would've quit right there. Pathetic I know, but at least my stingy-ness kept me going. But after I realized that I had never even met this guy and he was probably a douche anyway (obviously since he didn't want to date me) my whole dating attitude changed. I went on a "winking" spree and decided that I had 3 months, I might as well have some fun. I mean what's the worse that happens, you find a friend? you get a good story? Dating doesn't have to be about finding "The One" and you shouldn't feel bad if someone isn't interested because there's plenty more where he came from. I've officially jumped on D and Lo's "Eggs in the Basket" bandwagon. I have upgraded from a middle school relationship maturity to maybe high school, early college. Lot's of progress for a month and half if you ask me! Who knows, by the end of all this I might have actually caught up to my age.

Last Bird: I have another date to report on...date number 5! I don't have a clever (or not so clever) name for this one so we'll just call him date 5. I very much enjoyed this date. He was very up front saying he like the "friends first" approach so that might have taken some of the awkwardness away. Anyway, we meet for coffee (hot cider if you are me) and talked for a couple hours. We didn't have as much in common as I had thought we would, but I still very much enjoyed the conversation. There was an abundance of sarcasm and poking fun at each other, which as you all can probably guess are big turn-ons for me. We ended the date with a hug because he had to go let his dog out (dog is another plus). I don't know what will happen, but I definitely would like to see him again. Date 5 is a success.

Double Trouble

Date 4: Teacher part 2

So I went on another date with the teacher. We met up for dinner at a restaurant by school since I would coming directly from class (That's right, I had to be super cool and show up with my back pack!!!) Anyway, the second date was definitely less awkward than the first. Though our waiter wasn't helping anything by hitting on me the whole night. He was always coming up an talking to me, not even acknowledging that there was another person at my table. He brought be a free beer because he "thought I'd like it and wanted me to try it" but didn't bring one for the teacher. I found it amusing but the teacher looked a little annoyed.The night ended with a hug, I think he might have wanted more, which got me thinking...
How many dates should you give it to see if there is actually something there? I mean, the teacher and I have been on two dates now, decent dates, but still no real spark. As a wise person once told me "if you can't picture his *BLEEP* in your mouth, the relationship isn't gonna go anywhere." While I maybe would've put it more delicately, that's kind of where I am on this one. He has asked me to go out again. Do I give it another date and see if something changes? How many dates can you go on with someone you don't see anything really happening with before it's just mean? Though let's be real, the mere participation in our little competition suggests that all of our moral compasses are a little off (some more than others...cough). Maybe I wont worry about it.

Until next time,
xoxo

I Have Outdone Myself This Time...

Oh my goodness, last night was quite the night. I had my first date. Kind of my first dates. Technicalities...First of all, I was very calm and relaxed for date. I would say that was a plus. I am not positive that I didn't hurt someone's feelings...but hey. That is the arrangement you wanted. I bet he didn't think it would be me having all the fun. Details will be divulged in private for those who request them.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Girls is pimps, too.

Anyways, my date. We shall call him "The Pilot." Because he is a pilot. Good thinking, eh? He is young...21 I think. But...he has a hella good job, a house, and a BMW. And big muscles! So I show up, after pushing my date back half an hour for personal reasons, and he looks much better than in his pictures. In the future, pilots look dorky in their uniforms. But anyways, things were cool. We had a few drinks and watched the Wings lose to the Wild (boo). And by we, I mean me. He doesn't love hockey like we love hockey. I am confident that he could learn, though. So the night went pretty well. No weird silences or anything, but there was minimal flirting since we were sitting across from each other. It makes it hard to be leg touching, etc. Just FYI. Drinks are maybe better sitting at the bar. More opportunity for physical contact. Just sayin'--don't wanna get in that friend zone. So we're getting ready to go and this Playmate blonde lady comes up to me and is all in my face. "I just had to tell you. YOU ARE SOOOO BEAUTIFUL. You are gorgeous! God, you are just so pretty. Is that your man? Is he your man? He is? Oh damn..." A lesbian came up and hit on me on our date. HOW DOES SOMETHING WEIRD LIKE THAT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME? That would not happen to anyone else. Haha. So he walked me to my car, I gave him a hug and left. Not bad, not bad.

Then, like 5 minutes after I leave I get a text saying how he had a good time and wants to see me again. I said I would like that and thanks again for the drinks. He texted me again today just to say hi and see how my day is going. I guess it's not just lesbians who like me!

Operation: EGGS IN BASKET. I'm liking it. No more nice girl. I'm done being the one who gets screwed over. ZERO expectations. Time to have fun. Fuck it. If something happens, great. But until then, party time. I'm not a slut, I just kiss a lot. That is my other new motto. Words to live by, ladies. Words to live by.

Easy as 1, 2, 3...

So I figured out why I don't date...it's like a full time job. Between the searching, matching, "winking", e-mails, plus the rest of my life, it is hard to fit the actual dates in. With that said, I have "successfully" completed three dates this past week (yes, successfully is in quotes for a reason).

Date 1: Mr. Good

My first date was with a teacher, nice guy, good guy, almost too good. I'm trying to convince myself that that isn't a bad trait. We'll see how that goes. It's weird "nice guy" has always been on my list, but it's looking like I need him to have a bit of an edge too! Anyway, we agreed to meet up for coffee at the place of his choosing (unlike some people I'm not trying to have 4 hour first dates...creepy). I was impressed by his choice of location, a little neighborhood coffee shop which also happened to serve wine and beer! On a total side note, these kind of places are popping up all over the city and I LOVE them. He earned points for choice of date location. We both ordered hot chocolate (I wasn't about to order alcohol if he wasn't) and sat and talked for awhile, nothing too exciting. Given that it was my first date in a LONG time I wasn't sure if the semi-frequent awkward pauses were normal or not (subsequent dates have proven that they are in fact NOT the norm). We'd be talking and all of the sudden there would be a pause and he would stare at me dreamily. Kind of flattering I guess, but also kind of creepy. After the PG beverages we both ordered a beer (score!) and continued with conversation. The last hour of our date consisted of telling drinking stories. But wait! Before you get too excited about how much fun that sounds, let's just say I had to severely sensor my stories because his were all so tame and I didn't want to scare him. So if anyone asks...the crasiest thing I've ever done drunk is "watch" my "roommate" bring home a traffic cone (that crazy roommate). The end of the date was a little weird as I rushed out to catch my bus (that is what we city people use for transportation). All in all though, it was an o.k. date, nothing amazing but not bad. I would say date one falls on the success side of the spectrum. We have dinner plans tomorrow so stay tuned.

Date 2: Andre the Giant

So I am roughly 5'3" (5'4" on a tall day) and my second date was 6'8"! I sometimes wonder what the world looks like from up there. I was actually most excited about this date out of the three I've been on thus far. Partially because I am just so intrigued by his height and partially because I really enjoyed our e-mail conversation and partially because he has really good credentials (does that make me shallow?) We seem to have a lot in common and he's a bit of a smart ass like me (always a plus). It took us like 3 weeks to actually meet up because his work schedule is so crazy but we finally were able to meet up for drinks at one of my favorite bars (granted I did the picking). When I met him at the bar I realized just how tall 6'8" is...REALLY TALL! Luckily we sat down at a table so the height difference wasn't so noticeable. We had good conversation with no awkward pauses which made me realize just how awkward my conversation with Mr. Good had been. It was a short date, he had to work (catching a pattern) but it was fun. Again, date two is definitely on the success side of things. Though I was less than pleased when ended the date by putting the ball in my court! What? I have to make the next move? Uncool. Typically I wouldn't have done anything, but I decided for the sake of our social experiment (and me winning) I would man up. We now have plans this weekend.

Date 3: Douche

I was getting disappointed that my dates were all very normal compared to some of the dates being posted on this site (well one in particular). But alas, date three came around. Now you might I am evil for titling this one "Douche" but after he told me Douche was a nickname for his Indian name, well I completely forgot what his real name was so I couldn't write that even if I wanted too. He will forever be known in my stories as Douche. We met up Monday night and a relatively fancy bar which was nice, I like being fancy sometimes. I was all set to order a beer but then he ordered a vodka tonic, and well my general rule is not to order a beer if the guy doesn't, so I ordered wine. Slight problem, I forgot that wine had a significantly higher alcohol content. So let me preface the rest of the story by saying I was a pretty tips for most of this date. It's probably a good thing I was too, let's just say the conversation was weird and he really liked to talk. Here are some highlights.

- His first question was "why are you on Match?" I left out the whole competition/joke part and just responded "me and some friends decided to try it out together so we're all on different sites seeing what happens." Not a total lie. He then replied with "you guys should start a blog!" I laughed. Though I did not tell him we have one.

- He then proceeded to tell me how he is a "breaker" meaning that he likes to go into banks and look around and plan out how he would rob them. He doesn't, but he likes to imagine. I have yet to come up with the appropriate reaction to this part of the conversation.

- The highlight of the night was when he explained to me how arranged marriages work in India and how since he is over 30 he doesn't really have any offers anymore. Way to sell yourself on a date...a first date at that. I didn't really want to ask, but I'm guessing this is why he is on Match.

- Finally he offered me a ride home which I appreciated (I had walked there and it was now really cold) so he asked where I lived. I told him the intersection and he said something which I didn't really understand because of his accent (note to self: become more culturally sensative) so I just agreed. Apparently he had been asking me if I lived in the Eitel Apartments...I do not. So I got dropped off in front of a building I don't live in (luckily it is close) and he now thinks I live there. I didn't bother to correct him. Failure is such  harsh word, so I will say date three was less than successful.

Clammy Hands and The Engineer

Dear Gossip Girl,

I am so not dating an Asian. I made sure the site will only match me with Whiteys and African Americans ... yet strangely I was matched with a Mexican yesterday? I should probably change my preference to just White because I've rejected everyone else. Also, as I lay in bed writing this, I can already feel the flames of hell ready and waiting to get me when my time comes.

So, I went on my first and second official online dates this past week. I'll start with date 1 (I won't be using any names just to save my ass, should anyone actually ever read this blog). The date was set on a Tuesday night. The plan was dinner and watching a hockey game. Sounds like fun, right? I thought so ... until I actually spoke to date 1 on the phone to set up plans. I suggested we check out a sports bar, eat dinner while watching the game, kill 2 birds with 1 stone. Plus, it being a first date, I didn't want it to be super awkwardly long in the event that we didn't click and I wanted to get out of there ASAP. Anyway, my suggestion of a sports bar was shot down and he wanted to do dinner at 6, then relocate to watch the wings. Do the math, that's a 4 HOUR FIRST DATE!!! It's awkward enough having that "get to know you" conversation and dragging it out for 4 hours seemed like torture. So, I show up to the restaurant, talking to one of my bff's on the phone for moral support and he happened to walk in the same time as me. We introduced ourselves and rather than a hand shake or head nod, he leaned in for an awkward half hug. I was totally caught off guard and slightly weirded out ... I don't like being touched by strangers. So we're in the restaurant, sitting, chatting, eating. All went well, the conversation was decent but I could already tell that it wasn't going anywhere and there was no interest on my end. Dinner ended around 7:30 and we walked to a bar down the street. Unfortunately, it wasn't a sports bar and the accommodations for TV watching were sub par. For us to both get a good view of the game we had to sit next to each other at a table for 4. We're sitting next to each other, watching the game, chatting. By this point he's had 3 beers and I've had 1/3 of a martini. Well, 3 beers must have gotten his confidence up because he started edging closer to me, brushing his leg against mine under the table, which lead to him putting his hand on my knee/thigh, squeezing it at one point, then moving it to the back of my chair and even rubbing my back. All the while I was scooting to the edge of my chair, crossing my legs away from him, doing everything possible to send the "I DON'T WANT YOU TOUCHING ME" signal. And to make matters worse, HIS HANDS WERE CLAMMY!! SO clammy that I could feel it through my sweater. UGH. I'm sorry, I may sound terrible, but that just grosses me out. I'm not into you, I don't want you touching me, AND your hands are sweaty. Can I go home now? On top of that, to make me feel even worse, he keeps talking about going out in the future and where we'll go, what we'll do. Knowing full well I have no desire to date him, I could only smile and nod in response. The awkward question of "so, have you met anyone else on 'this'" came up. Come to find out, I was only the second date he'd ever been on from his many months of being on chemistry.com. Here I am, in the email/pre-meeting stages with at least 5 other guys ... So I'm pretty much an online dating slut. Cool. Finally the game ends, the bill is paid and we're on our way out of the bar. It was cold so I put my hands in my coat pockets. He asks "may I?" and slips his hand through my elbow. Awkward. Isn't it supposed to be the girl who does that? Holds onto the man's arm? Whatever, just more unwanted touching. Now we're at my car ... the awkward goodbye. I guessed, based on the handsy-ness previously, he was going to go for a kiss, so as I said goodbye I gave him a half hug, saw him lean in for my face and pulled a strategic head turn, giving him nothing but cheek. Crisis averted, or so I thought until he tried for a second hug/kiss combo. Ballsy move, guy! I gave him an even lesser hug and barely any cheek. I get in my car, SO glad the date is over, and instantly call my friend to relay the gory details of my evening and laugh until I felt better. Basically, I consider date 1 a fail.

Date 2: The Engineer
My second date was tonight. I already had higher hopes for the evening because, based on date 1, I could really only go up from there. Also, date 2 and I had spoken on the phone a couple times and surprisingly the convos weren't awkward. We met up for dinner at 7. Conversation went well, we had plenty to talk about. Once we started eating it was slightly awkward, that silence when you're chewing and look up only to make eye contact and half smile with your mouth full ... yeah. Note to self: don't order food that has to be held, ie. a sandwich. For some reason I feel weird using my hands to eat on a first date. But I also read in Cosmo that guys judge you when you order a salad for dinner. Dilemma. Anyway, we made it through dinner just fine and headed over to a bar to watch a hockey game. Anyone notice a pattern here? Thankfully date 2 was not a repeat with sweaty hands and unwanted touching. We sat across from each other, enjoyed a few beers, watched my team lose :(. The waitress brought the bill and I offered to pay because date 2 bought dinner. He told me it was "lame", but I insisted. I feel bad having these dates pay for my food and drinks when I'm not sure I want to continue dating them, but I found it nice that he wanted to pay for it all. The bill is paid and we walk outside, he walks me to my car and gives me a hug goodbye, no lean in for the kill, and I told him to give me a call if he wanted to go out again sometime. I don't know if date 2 is someone I could date long term, but I wouldn't mind a second date. I consider date 2 a success.

All in all, I learned that I need to perfect my body language signals for "no touching", not to order sandwiches or "hand food", and to maybe suggest meeting for coffee rather than dinner to avoid dragging out an awkward situation.

Bring on date 3 ....